I’d like to think I am emotionally resilient, that I am a well-rounded and emotionally stable individual … Maybe I am ….maybe I am not … maybe the jury is still out.
I recently spent an amazing couple of days at a training course to focus on growing my business, after all this is a double dip recession and the time when multi- million business grow. The content was powerful and insightful, my notes copious.
What I had not bargained for (or paid for knowingly) was the emotionally roller coaster! As part of the programme we took an online test, I know we can take them or leave them but it’s a bit like the horoscope when it says something good I believe it and when it doesn’t then they are all rubbish.
In this case as I read the findings and report it was like the computer programme had crawled in my head and downloaded my exact personality onto the page. It described me to a tee. I was fine with this as I believe self-awareness is the first step to self-improvement.
My challenge came, as the speaker who I held in very high regard, started to use the general findings of the report to explain how he applied the findings to his business. On one level it was brilliant, it tied in with his business model, marketing, client profiling and service offered…
On another level he said “I don’t work with ‘type 1’ people because they talk too much and can’t make a decision” (paraphrased). Guess what type the test said I was?
So this man who I held in regard was saying publicly that he would not work with me. Now I know I could logically accept the comment and move on to discuss that as a business model or specific strategy. The “type 3” in me totally understood and agreed with that business approach. The problem was the “small child chastised at school by teacher for asking too many questions” in me was busy crying in the toilet.
Where was my emotional resilience now when I needed it? It took me nearly two days to work out what was going on and when I did the lesson was like dynamite and gold dust. It was all about labelling – the labels we accept with their associated meanings throughout our life.
I had been labelled (implicitly by the speaker) and I resented it with every fibre of my body.
Throughout our lives labels are attached to us, some knowingly by others, some subconsciously. Some we are aware of and others we are only subconsciously aware of them. So why does that matter? For many people it doesn’t but think of these examples;
- The child at school told it’s naughty, or not clever enough
- The parent you hear telling a child they are stupid
- The children telling another child they are ugly
Think about your experience, how many positive labels do you remember? That is why so many people recite positive affirmations each day – to reprogramme their minds. What if we were not so judgemental or careless with our words?
And while we become the change we want to see in the world, also practise this…ask yourself each morning what you are so successful in business? Why you are so attractive to potential partners in your life (if you are looking for one), why your body is so toned and healthy?
These affirmations, recommended by my business partner Loran Northey, programme your mind to seek for the answers to these questions. To look observe and seek out during your day the answers that you are looking for. When you notice your reflection eating a burger – that is the answer to your question – now you just need to be the change you want to see in the world.
To our mutual success, wealth and happiness
Vicki – The Property Mermaid
What you do today will change what you can do forever
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