I don’t need to be super woman

Monday, November 10th, 2008 at 10:57 am

Have you ever heard something, for what seems like the first time, only to realise that you have heard that message so many times in the past before and just not reacted or remembered it?

That’s what happened to me last night. I was at a networking event when the speaker mentioned Strong Woman Syndrome. She raised the issue that at school we are taught to be good at everything. Often women want everything to be perfect before they will do it, try it, like it. She said how women create conflict, guilt and stress in their lives. For example have you ever asked your husband or partner or children for that matter, to wash up and then after they have done it you complain that they didn’t wipe the surfaces, put away or sweep the floor. Well of course not, you asked them to wash up. So next they say “well you do it then” and of course you do!.

I struggled with this because I brought my daughters up as a single mother. I didn’t have conflict because there was no-one to argue with me, my word was ‘law’ (well until they hit teenage years, but that’s another story!). However, I did gradually start to recognise that all the pressure had been on me.

So this morning sitting on the train from Manchester back down to London, I had a revelation! That’s not the first time someone had said to me you don’t need to be super woman. I remembered a fellow lecturer at university saying to me that I didn’t have to do it all, I didn’t have to be superwoman. I remembered laughing, and laughing it off. I prided myself in controlling everything, doing everything. I didn’t need anyone I was doing fine.

I did do a good job (she says modestly ), however I hadn’t need to do it all alone. While I had the support of my parents and sister, I did shoulder all the responsibility, the cost financially, emotionally and physically.

It’s right what they say “when the student is ready the teacher appears”. Finally I heard the message – I don’t have to be super woman. It feels so liberating to know that I can ask for help, that things don’t have to be perfect. That as they said last night “Almost right is better than totally wrong”.

In most areas of my life I am an adventurer, a risk taker, creative and entrepreneurial, yet there was something holding me back. I am in the process of launching and formalising my new property sourcing business – to help investors become independently wealthy through property investments. I am also working in partnership with a colleague on a new website. I have been happy to give free advice to friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances, even working for free at business shows, property events and courses, giving free advice to complete strangers. I enjoy seizing new opportunities. Yet I was reluctant to commit my ideas to paper, to create that income generating business for myself.

That doesn’t apply anymore! I realised I was trying to get it perfect in my head before I put it on paper, to be super woman and cover all the bases, to know everything about everything there is to know. Yet my learning style is that I know what I know through doing. I have already created wealth for my family and myself, I am already independently wealthy. I have helped others to see how they can create wealth for themselves. I don’t need to be super woman. I am Vicki and that is plenty to be getting on with

To our mutual success, wealth and happiness
Vicki – The Property Mermaid

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